VENTURA, Calif. — Looking out over the crowd
of nearly 1,000 people gathered in California to talk about marriage and
families, communication scholar Tim Muehlhoff decided to ask a new
question.
"How many of you men had your dad or parent sit down and have the sex talk with you?"
There was an audible gasp. Muehlhoff counted 10 hands.
He asked the same question of the women.
This time 22 hands went up.
"I said to them, 'If we don't
have the sex talk (with our kids) we're abdicating it to culture,
because you better believe your kids are getting the sex talk,' " said
Muehlhoff, a professor of communication at Biola University in
California.
That was eight years ago. He
still asks that question each time he attends a Family-Life Marriage
Conference, a nonprofit ministry aimed at improving marriages and
families cofounded by Dennis and Barbara Rainey.
The numbers haven't gotten better.
Today's society is awash in
depictions of sexuality, ranging from salacious magazines, ads and
Internet sites to more-than-suggestive television shows and movies that
glorify casual sex and promiscuity. Yet religious leaders say too many
parents are still uncomfortable with the idea of talking to their
children about sex and thus remain awkwardly silent.
To encourage healthy and
crucial conversations, a growing number of religious leaders are boldly
speaking up in church about intimacy — working to drown out society's
messages with Bible-based preaching that sex between a husband and wife
is beautiful, sacred and essential to a good marriage, and that this
proper, healthy understanding of intimacy is essential to the growth and
development of well-adjusted children.
Because if parents aren't
talking about sex, then critical teaching moments are being left to
television, movies and locker-room chatter, says Muehlhoff.
"Sex isn't something we shy
away from as Christians," he says. "We (need to) prepare our kids so
that when they leave (our) houses, they have a world view and critical
skills to be able to decipher the messages that are coming out from
culture today. But parents are overwhelmed and scared, (thinking) 'I
just hope this isn't an issue,' and 'My kids will find their way
somehow.' Would you ever do that with finances? Or homework? No. But we
do it with sex all the time."
No comments:
Post a Comment